magicul:

magicul:

nice pickup line but do I know u

it gets worse 

tryna ask me out when his outfit is still stuck in 2009

magicul:

magicul:

nice pickup line but do I know u

it gets worse 

tryna ask me out when his outfit is still stuck in 2009

burninggreen:

myownsundays:

briderbigny:

hadtoomuchtodreamlastnight:

sorry tumblr

Too high for this shit

Not even high and this shit is bananas

holy shit

burninggreen:

myownsundays:

briderbigny:

hadtoomuchtodreamlastnight:

sorry tumblr

Too high for this shit

Not even high and this shit is bananas

holy shit

  • someone: what are your plans for the weekend
  • me: who knows
  • me: (i know)
  • me: (i'm not leaving the house)
"You may not agree with a woman, but to criticize her appearance — as opposed to her ideas or actions — isn’t doing anyone any favors, least of all you. Insulting a woman’s looks when they have nothing to do with the issue at hand implies a lack of comprehension on your part, an inability to engage in high-level thinking. You may think she’s ugly, but everyone else thinks you’re an idiot."
Hillary Clinton   (via onigiri85)

goldenfacedbastard:

qoyqoyi:

cinematicnomad:

apparently e.l. james called former child star mara wilson (matilda) a “sad fuck” for critiquing the 50shades books a while ago and now there’s a feud. i love it.

this gives me hope.

matilda continues to give me life

reallylameblog:

oh my GOD i can’t wait to hear about how many kids are caught jackin it in the theaters for 50 shades

unkemptly:

trying to play hard to get while being hard to want

cumnog:

when you keep losing followers and don’t know why

image

imagineyouricon:

Imagine sitting beside your icon on a 14 hours plane ride

humansofnewyork:

"Right after I lost vision in my eye, I was so bad at walking that I ran into a girl eating ice cream, and knocked her cone out of her hand. She screamed: ‘Are you blind!?!?’ I turned to her and said: ‘I am blind actually, I’m so sorry, I’ll buy you a new cone.’ And she said: ‘Oh my God! I’m so sorry! Don’t worry! It’s no problem at all! I’ll buy another one.’ So we walked into the ice cream store together, and the clerk said: ‘I heard the whole thing. Ice cream is free.’"

humansofnewyork:

"Right after I lost vision in my eye, I was so bad at walking that I ran into a girl eating ice cream, and knocked her cone out of her hand. She screamed: ‘Are you blind!?!?’ I turned to her and said: ‘I am blind actually, I’m so sorry, I’ll buy you a new cone.’ And she said: ‘Oh my God! I’m so sorry! Don’t worry! It’s no problem at all! I’ll buy another one.’ So we walked into the ice cream store together, and the clerk said: ‘I heard the whole thing. Ice cream is free.’"

seienna:

sophisticated-ignoranceee:

I’ve been waiting so long to find this.

I’M CRYING

  • baby: w...w...w..
  • mom: water? wash? what?
  • baby: w....w-we....Welcome! Foolish Mortals, to the Haunted Mansion, I am your host, your ghost host. Hmmmm. Our tour begins here, in this gallery. Here where you see paintings of some of our guests, as they appeared in their corruptible, mortal state. Kindly step all the way in please, and make room for everyone. There's no turning back now...
  • Your cadaverous palour, betrays an aura of foreboding, almost as though you sense a disquieting metamorphosis. Is this Haunted room actually stretching? Or is it your imagination, hmm? And consider this dismaying observation, this chamber has no windows, and no doors. Which offers you this chilling challenge, to find a way out! Of course, there's always my way...

hellaoptile:

you know how when you go to a concert or show of some sort and the person on stage is like “HOW’S EVERYONE DOING TONIGHT?!?!?!?!” and the audience cheers back? why? you’re not answering the question, you’re just yelling. imagine if we did that in daily conversation. “hey jeff, how are ya?” and jeff just starts screaming and clapping in your face

maliciousmelons:

when you are in a hurry and someone wont let the conversation end

image